Anyway… let us dive in shall we? A few things have happened recently that might change the current course of my young life. First and foremost, I want to move back to New York. I love Montana, I really do but finding work is near impossible and at least at home I have a support network. The idea of moving home at 27 is embarrassing but hopefully it won’t be for long. Second, my boyfriend and I ended things. I’ve felt all the emotions stretching from anger to sadness, from relief to despair. So as I sit in the airport I can’t help but feel lost. I’m actually lost in my life.
While I was home I attended a wedding (my first time as a bridesmaid!) and my college reunion. The wedding was beautiful, it took place near Burlington, Vermont in a small barn. When the vows were being exchanged I couldn’t help but think, “will this ever happen for me?” I also found myself wondering if anyone would ever look at me the way that Ben looks at Hope. He looks at her in a way I can only dream of being looked at, he looked at her the way they portray it in movies. She was and is home to him. Will I ever have that? I hope so.